The Gift of Optimism
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As a child, I thought I was talentless.
I couldn’t sing or dance (something I later realized actually wasn’t true).
I wasn’t consistent enough to be great at any sport.
I excelled academically, but I hardly believed that to be a talent. School smart wasn’t the only way to be smart.
After much deliberation, I came to the painful conclusion that I was born without talents.
I had no gifts.
I was the ugly duckling.
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I spent years believing this. Drowning in the notion that I had no real talents.
I could never seem to pinpoint anything. If I wasn’t the best at something, it wasn’t a talent.
After some time, I decided that my top talent was having nice calves from years of running track and field.
That’s the best I could do.
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However, something shifted when I turned 21.
I started paying attention to the things that came to me naturally: writing, speaking, presenting, motivating others, scheduling, planning, listening, counseling, mediating, joking.
Everywhere I went, I formed deep connections with those around me. For some reason, people always ended up telling me their life stories.
At social functions, I never ceased to make people laugh. I pulled the shyest of the shy out onto the dance floor. Before you knew it, the people who supposedly “couldn’t dance” were hitting the coldest two-step I’d ever seen.
In the classroom, I commanded attention with my thoroughly constructed opinions, contentious thoughts, and powerful prose.
After presenting on European colonization in Africa, a member of the audience told me, “The way you spoke had me invested in your work from the start.”
I soon realized that all these aspects of me were in fact talents.
To form profound connections is a talent. To listen is a talent. To speak with command and captivation is a talent.
I had more than I realized.
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When I delved into the world of content creation and design, I unlocked even more talents of mine.
“You should design websites for people,” a few of my friends told me.
I brushed off the compliment, noting that all I did was use the site templates and customize them.
Upon reflection, though, I realized that I had downplayed another talent of mine.
Template or not, the ability to add style and personality to something is a gift.
A stylist doesn’t make the clothes, but they arrange the pieces in a way that speaks to both those who adorn the clothing and those who look at it.
Would we say stylists aren’t talented because they didn’t make the actual clothing?
An interior designer doesn’t build the home, but they add vibrancy to the space in a way that evokes specific emotions and feelings.
Would we say interior designers aren’t talented because they didn’t build the actual house?
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A few days ago, I made a list of all my talents and gifts.
I needed more than one page.
I got overwhelmed viewing the list, wondering how I could express all my talents in this lifetime.
Take a deep breath, I told myself.
I closed my eyes. I smiled. Then I laughed.
I laughed with my mouth wide open. My back firmly pressed into the wooden chair I sat on, right hand on my stomach.
Imagine that.
Nearly a decade ago, I believed I was born without talents. Now, here I am upset that I have too many!
This was a good problem to have.
Nothing on the list, however, could compare to what I call, the ultimate gift.
My best talent.
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My life is far from perfect. The past year has given me much to be sad about.
One day, late last year, my dark thoughts almost won.
But something stopped me.
Through my stream of tears and blurred vision I asked myself, “But what if it gets better?”
But what if it gets better?
Asking that simple question changed the story and trajectory of my life.
Earlier this year proved to be challenging as well.
I wondered what the point of all this suffering was…
…why lies are often louder than the truth…
…how peers mischaracterized me in unspeakable ways…
…and how something that seemed so good could actually be very bad.
As I lay in my bed, watching these thoughts travel through my mind, I heard the question:
But what if it gets better?
I sighed and muttered, “God’s toughest soldier I guess.”
I’d go to the gym, feeling defeated after one set of squats.
Staring into the mirror with a deep frown, Id hear the question:
But what if it gets better?
I ubered around the city, gazing at the various monuments with tear-stained cheeks.
As I looked at the traffic in front of me, I heard:
But what if it gets better?
Months later, an experience I had left me doubting that true love was possible.
Right as I got on my knees to pray, I heard:
But what if it gets better?
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Although I continue to contemplate the pitfalls of my life, I realize what the ultimate gift is.
God has given me the gift of optimism.
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No matter what I can’t stop surging forward. No matter what I can’t stop seeing the bright side.
I can’t stop dancing in the rain.
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My optimism is the talent that surpasses all others.
It’s the talent that I don’t give enough credit.
None of my other talents can be activated if I don’t believe in me and my future.
Earlier this morning, I was plagued with negative thoughts.
Could I become a successful writer? Could I really do it? Aren’t the odds slim to none?
I stopped myself and decided to count my blessings.
I had more than I realized.
Noting this, I told myself, “I have enough to succeed. I have enough to succeed.”
I started to skip as I brainstormed a million ways to utilize my resources.
And just like that I went from despair to determined.
Just like that I went from ornery to optimistic.
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It may have taken me over 20 years to realize that I am talented, but now I know.
I have truly seen my gifts so I can never go back to believing otherwise.
I was never talentless.
I have an abundance of talents and ways I can serve the world.
I was never the ugly duckling.
I am a swan who becomes more beautiful each day.
So here I am, flaunting my wings. Trying to prove to myself that it can get better.
Here I am basking in the optimism God gave me, showing the world my greatest talent.